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Three Tips to Move Toward Empowered Sensitivity

Posted by on Jan 16, 2017 in Sensitivity | 0 comments

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By now, almost everyone has heard the term “Highly Sensitive Person”. I have to admit, I bristle when I hear that term. Everything I read about HSPs seems to focus on how it is that we can adapt ourselves to the ‘normal’ world. I’m sure I’ve missed a lot there, but part of our sensitivity is learning about our true yes’s and no’s ~ and for me, 98% of the stuff I read on HSP is a ‘no’. What seems clear to me is that the world has not yet embraced the gifts that sensitive people can bring to the party. Remarkably though, many of the insights sensitive people glean from our deep dives into the psyche are applicable to almost everyone. So even if you do not consider yourself a sensitive person, read on!

As a sensitive person who has found some solid ground on which to stand, I feel at times like a pioneer. Something inside drove me to believe in myself, even when others did not believe in me. ‘They’ told me to do the things that they did. That is how I would find my way, they said. A shaky little voice inside said ‘No, there is a different way.’ Here are three of the most important tools I have found to bolster that shaky voice that was trying to stand up for me.

Find a way to remove yourself from all outside stimulation for a period of time. This could be a daily ritual such as meditation or a weekend at a cabin by yourself. As a sensitive person, you have the ‘double edged sword’ of absorbing other people’s stuff and being told you are not experiencing what you are experiencing. I am here to plant a seed that you are feeling things and much of what you are feeling is likely not yours. It takes a LOT of solitude to truly be able to feel yourself.

Take a break from your loudest critics. The voices of criticism are crushing for a lot of sensitive people because words and energies are felt so deeply. While the criticism being spouted is actually not about you but about the person delivering the criticism, this can be tricky to tease out. Know that for some of us, time away from the criticism is needed to feel strong enough to be able to differentiate this.

Find outside support. Wounding happens in relationship; healing has to happen in relationship. We can do a lot of healing on our own, but the really deep healing happens in therapeutic relational repair. When navigating such challenging territory as how to stand in power (while possessing qualities the world does not yet value), you want to work with someone who knows the value of your deep sensitivity. Reach out for help!!!

Sign Up for Patricia’s Online Empowered Sensitivity Intensive. 25% off until the end of January! Click Here Now To Save

Embodied Heart Support Group

Posted by on Aug 11, 2016 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

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Let’s come together for support! It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world out there; CAN YOU FEEL IT? Of course you can! You are sensitive. Allow yourself to get in a rhythm of self care with a weekly support group. This group for sensitive women will provide the healing container for you to finally begin to breathe into trusting life. Ongoing group begins Wednesday, September 7th.

When I say I’ve been on the long road of healing, I mean it in a bit of a different context than others mean it. I mean I’ve been on that long road with a singularity of purpose. I focused almost exclusively on my desire to come home to myself. I know others are able to do this as they do other things in life too. Marriage, kids, etc. But me ~ I had to come home first. I never married or had kids, nor did I settle into a lucrative career. I did not even nurture myself into a comfortable home. I’m pretty envious of others who have been able to be, do or have all of the richness of the full range of human experiences, as they are concurrently coming home to themselves.

And then, of course, there are those who are just having the experiences and are not coming home to themselves at all. Just really distracting themselves from the truth of who they are, of what they want out of life, of their deepest fears. Me, I’m pretty much not into distracting myself from who I am. Maybe you are tiring of distracting yourself too.  After my relentless stripping away that which is not me, I know now who I am.

I am peace. I am love. I am compassion.

I am at home ~ In my body. In my heart. In my soul.

I am open. I am free. I am guided.

Somehow I came to planet earth with a persistent knowing that I was supposed to be happy. And if I was not happy, I had to keep digging to find out why. I was raised in a culture that was very judging of things outside of the norm. And me? Outside of the norm, alright. You? Maybe you are outside of the norm too. I secretly think we all are; it’s just a matter of our comfort level with finding out who we really are. Are you ready to stop distracting yourself?

The feedback I’ve received over the years is that others feel safe with me; that they can reveal things to me that they have never told others before; that I help them believe that the universe is a friendly place; that I coax them into believing that every, every everything happens for a reason; that they are inspired by the full abandon with which I trust in life.

It is now time for me to offer these gifts to others in the format of an ongoing support group. These are trying times, especially for sensitive people. Go outside of your comfort zone and take the pledge to continue uncovering who you really are. I myself have been helped immensely by a group of women with whom I come together for support and I wanted to be able to offer that level of support to others.

Beginning Wednesday, September 7th, 6:30 pm -8:15 pm. Email Patricia at portlandsynergy@gmail.com to reserve your spot. $50 – $80 per month. 2225 N Lombard St. Portland

What will you receive by signing up for “Embodied Heart”?

  • Come together with other women to give and receive support.
  • Tune in with somatic awareness techniques to help you come home to yourself.
  • Learn exercises to soothe yourself when you experience anxiety or stress.
  • Get a spiritual ‘reframe’ on real life situations you find yourself in.
  • Practice conversations in a setting where the other side is not ‘charged’.
  • Come as you are! You are welcome here…

Who has supported you along the way? I hope to be on your future list! I could not be standing here today in strength without a LOT of support along the way, specifically six amazing women who have helped me come home:

http://www.comehometoyourself.com
http://www.rsmportland.com/
http://www.kathymarchant.com
http://www.kwanyinhealingarts.com/practitioners/sarah-clark-l-ac/
http://www.junamustad.com
http://www.owlsnestnorth.com/therapists-KARI-Bio.htm

Continue to expand the people on your support team. Needing and seeking out support is beautiful growth for most people. See you in September, loves!

Soft IS Strong…

Posted by on Jun 30, 2015 in Gentleness | 4 comments

“There’s nothing more important on our spiritual path than developing gentleness to oneself.”   -Pema Chodron

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I once had a few dates with a woman who was trying to understand the work I do. “So what does it actually do in the end?” she asked. “I guess I teach people to be gentle with themselves” is what I came up with.

She had a very hard time understanding this. She didn’t exactly see the value in this. She reported that she was gentle with herself and would not need help to get there. The truth was that she was so NOT gentle with herself. I knew this from many clues. One was that she was very rigid with herself and her schedule. She was hard on herself about her goals. She looked outside herself to a guru for her spirituality. The biggest clue of all was that she was very unkind to me.

Yep. As we practice gentleness with ourselves, we naturally extend that golden elixir of gentleness toward others. This woman admitted her missteps with me and told me that believed she was unkind to me because she liked me so much. She wondered if she was sabotaging things. She did it again.

I stopped dating her.

When someone is not kind to us, can we love ourselves enough to walk away? Pretty easy to do if it’s a few dates. What if it is a longstanding relationship? How to move away from criticism, contempt, and sarcasm and toward relationships that are loving, nurturing, caring, kind, and gentle?

Most of us believe the answer is to get the ‘offender’ to change. We can clearly see how mean they are. We can see their missteps. We can feel their unhappiness and know that their treatment of us is an extension of that. But trying to get someone else to change is never the answer. It just doesn’t work.

But we can invite change within ourselves. The trick to having a life we love is to practice being gentle with ourselves. This is much harder than it sounds. Being gentle with yourself translates to ALWAYS being on your own side. Not beating yourself up ever. Loving yourself even in the midst of mistakes. Loving your body. Loving your mind. Falling in love with your own unique way of walking in the world. Understanding that you are always doing your very best, in every moment of every day. People believe that beating themselves up is good as it ‘teaches’ them what not to do next time. It doesn’t work; meeting ourselves with gentleness does work. It’s like magic.

If you have attracted and stayed in relationships that are not gentle, I can guarantee that you have not mastered the art of being gentle with yourself. Because once you are really there, once you know beyond doubt that you are both soft and strong, that soft IS strong, then you start to see more softness in your life. Everything in your life just begins to change. That is the magic. Your relationships become supportive and kind, your path in life unfolds with the utmost gentleness, your relationship with yourself is something you can consistently count on. That is mastery. You can get there. Start today by finding your gentle and compassionate inner voice. Be soft with yourself as you would with a small child. You’ve got this. So. Much. Love.

Waking Up

Posted by on May 29, 2015 in Confusion, Forgiveness, Love, Power, Responsibility, Uncategorized | 0 comments

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”
~ Fran Drescher

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I used to be absolutely and undeniably obsessed with trying to get people to wake up. “Be present with your heart!” I would whisper to them as they slept. “Know that you are loved. You are here to play. It’s okay be yourself. Trust the things that happen in your life. God is love. YOU are love. You are divinely guided. Trust your body. Trust your emotions. Trust yourself. Trust life.”

What felt true in my system back then was that I was awake. And that they were asleep. It would frustrate me beyond measure that they would not wake up. The last three men I dated before finally dating women were farther and farther away from who I actually wanted to be dating. Around the time I started dating number three of the trio (a serious alcoholic), I became obsessed with an old Cure song. “High As A Kite” seemed to taunt me; it would call me to play it over and over and invite me to dance unabashedly. As the obsession continued, I slowly started to comprehend that the song had something important to tell me. So one day, determined, I played the song over and over in one sitting. But rather than dance, I meditated.

As the song repeated over and over in the background, I entered a trancelike state and was shown a ‘movie’ of sorts, with three vignettes. In this movie, I was a kite. Each vignette showed the dance between the kite and the recent men I had dated. The first man tried to keep the kite locked in his basement apartment. I could feel the pain in my body of how that matched my experience with him. The second man would ‘wake up’ for stretches of time and play with the kite to its delight. But invariably, he would return to his various collections and forget about the kite. Ouch. The third man really seemed to want to honor and play with the kite. But real life would show how much fun it was to play with a full blown alcoholic. Gross.

The kite so clearly wanted to fly high and play! However, I would act out the ‘wake up’ obsession several additional times with women. Then something unusual happened; almost imperceptibly, I began to shift. How was I keeping myself locked in the basement and how would I leave myself periodically? “Let me out!” “Stay with me!” was what I wanted them to do. But clearly I should have been speaking those words to myself.

What I began to realize is that all of the things that I wanted other people to do were what I myself needed to do. On a much deeper level than I was already doing. Sure, I already knew that I could be present with my heart. That is precisely why I knew that I wanted others to feel the deliciousness of it. But I did not comprehend then that my heart had the depth internally and the expanse externally to touch the infinite in both directions. Sure, I knew that I could trust life. But I did not know that life would become a magically inspired synchronicity of dancing moments.

If you are in a dance with someone that does not seem to share your desire to wake up, I challenge you to ask yourself, “Where in my own life do I need to wake up more deeply?” As you do, you will find the others that want to dance and play. And fly high!

Nourishment

Posted by on May 5, 2015 in Listening, Love, Sensitivity | 0 comments

“Do Not Put Those Unwanted Ingredients in Your Pie.” Abraham Hicks

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I had a very disturbing experience at Newark Airport yesterday. I went to a restaurant where you were exclusively ‘served’ via an iPad. There were some actual human servers around to bring your food, but no one interacted with anyone. No eye contact, no greeting, no friendliness, NO CONNECTION. You ordered your food and paid on the iPad with your credit card. It was the weirdest thing ever! I hated it!!!!! Is this a thing??????????? Oh, and unbeknownst to me, they automatically added on a 20% tip for the service.

The non-service ‘service’ experience came after spending five days at the earthy and peaceful Pearlstone Retreat Center in Reisterstown, Maryland for a Rubenfeld Synergy conference. I can’t remember ever feeling more welcomed into a physical space. There was just a very very welcoming vibe there. I re-visited their website to learn more about what philosophies, attitudes, people, etc., make them so special and saw that their very first ‘core value’ listed is warm hospitality. The intention of that was absolutely felt.

So what is the intention behind the iPad restaurant? Fast service? I certainly don’t want fast service without feeling welcome. High tech bonus points? I am not impressed. Riding the wave of Apple obsession? I get it; I’m obsessed too. (On my Macbook Pro right now with my iPhone right nearby.)

It confuses me when I try to imagine what intention is behind creating a restaurant where human connection is taken out of the equation. Food is at the very heart of nourishment; it is at the center of how we nourish ourselves, nurture ourselves, or allow ourselves to be nurtured by others. Food is so intricately interwoven with our very earliest experiences of being nurtured that I believe it is unwise to try to separate them. When I hear people talking about ‘bad’ food or that they themselves are ‘bad’ in relation to food, my heart sinks. Food is not bad. And my goodness, no one is bad for trying to nurture themselves. Even if they miss the mark! Yes, chemicals in our food are probably mostly bad. But even food with the chemicals, if received in the spirit of really listening to what it is we are trying to take in when eating that food can be nurturing. As we slow down and pay attention while we are eating, we begin, over time, to hear what it is that we are really needing. And as we pay attention more and more to what we are really needing, our relationship with food changes and we are drawn more and more to eating foods that actually do truly nourish us. Fresh, local, organic foods. Junk food loses its appeal. Fast food loses its appeal. iPad restaurants disturb us.

As someone who struggled with food addiction in the past, I have SO much compassion for people that struggle with food. If you are struggling with food, you may be struggling with your ability to receive deep and sustaining nourishment. If you want some assistance in slowing down and paying attention to what your body is really craving, you may want to consider a visit to a Rubenfeld Synergist. We are here to love and serve….

Empowered Sensitivity Intensive – What It Is And Who May Need It

Posted by on Jan 5, 2015 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

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If you are a sensitive person, you are very likely well aware of the negative aspects of your ‘gift’. You may even raise an eyebrow at the suggestion that your sensitivity is a gift at all. But I am here to boldly assure you that it is. And furthermore, I am going to go out on a limb and state it is a gift that you will someday treasure. If you are not yet fully embracing your sensitivity and bringing its bounty of blessings into your own life and out into the world, you may want to consider the Empowered Sensitivity Class.

You have probably been told that you are too sensitive in some of the following ways: “Just get over it.” “Why do you take everything so seriously?” “Don’t let things get to you.” “Try to have a thicker skin.” “Can’t you ever turn that part of your brain off?” “Do we have to talk about this again? We talked about that last week!” “You just make yourself crazy with things.”

You have probably felt the ‘curse’ of your sensitivity in some of the following ways: Being drained by things that other people seem to be able to handle. Feeling unmanageable pain in your physical body with no identifiable cause. Needing more rest than other people you know. Sensing that you are living a life that you yourself have not chosen. Wondering why it has been so hard for you to get your life on track.

Maybe you’re not even sure that you are sensitive, but would like to develop more sensitivity within yourself, toward yourself. As you learn to listen more deeply to yourself, you will begin a journey of discerning which voices inside are yours and which have been imprinted so deeply onto you, into you, that they feel like yours. There are ways to get clear on what is you and what is not you. This is the power of sensitivity. Once you can learn to listen to the voices inside that are yours and only yours, you will have begin developing a relationship with the most reliable guidance system available. It’s like your own personal compass designed to get you to the things that have meaning for you.

If you decide to enroll in the online Empowered Sensitivity Intensive, you will receive seven daily emails with video prompts of each day’s assignments. The daily assignments will have a creative component (engages the right brain, your new best friend!), a journal exploration, and a movement exercise to invite you to feel your body. The topics covered are designed to lead you to a progressively deeper inquiry into your own thoughts and feelings. If you are not sure why feeling yourself and your feelings is important, check out Why Feeling Yourself Is The Bomb Diggity.

The time is now to step into YOUR AUTHENTIC LIFE. If you are willing to commit to the work, this class will open the floodgate into the power of your sensitivity. The world needs your sensitivity. You need this class. Looking forward to seeing you soon! Sound fun? Register here:  http://portlandsynergy.com/events/

Feeling Your Feelings

Posted by on Dec 11, 2014 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Yesterday was a great day. I woke up at six, went to my neighborhood hipster cafe with my macbook pro (where I was surrounded by creative people doing creative things on their macbook pros), and wrote a post about being numb. I wrote it because someone had asked if I thought my Empowered Sensitivity class would be appropriate for them because they weren’t so sure they were sensitive, but they knew for sure that they were numb. I know this person and I know for sure that they are indeed quite sensitive. So I felt called to write a post to speak to others who may have the same question.

Later in the day I worked with a client who has recently begun the process of trusting herself, of trusting her journey, of trusting her sensitivity, her pace. She is in her forties and was quite numb until about six months ago. As I was gently making contact with her body and inviting safety for her to be herself, I was blown away at how everything that was coming up in the session was in the blogpost I had written earlier that morning. I had the words to use in the session because I had written them down just a few hours prior. It was this amazing synchronicity and I was so honored to be of service in this way to her and to her journey.

Synchronicity. Flow. Movement. Excitement. Presence. Service. Love.

What if life could be like that all the time? Or most of the time? Is it even possible? If imagining this possibility touches a tender place or a wounded place in you, I believe you are being called to make some big changes in 2015. You too can have synchronicity, flow, movement, excitement. You can have love. You can love yourself. You can love your life.

“But I’m miserable. I’m depressed. I’m stuck in a cycle of despair. I have never ending grief. I’m terrified of change. I don’t know how to move forward.”

or

“My life is actually pretty good. I have figured a lot of things out, but I still feel like something is missing. I feel lonely and I don’t know why.”

Yes, I hear you. If you are feeling any of these things, I extend a gentle invitation to you to begin listening to your feelings as if they are mysterious helpers locked up in a treasure chest. That’s how amazing your feelings are. They are the MOST amazing when we open up the treasure chest and bring them out into the light of day. When we bring our feelings out into the open and follow where they take us, we begin the true adventure of the most uncommon journey. When we can follow where our feelings take us with curiosity and trust, they unfold and blossom and show us the next step to take.

People sometimes go two miles down the road in their mind and say, “I can’t do that! If I follow my feelings, I have to leave my partner and I don’t know how to financially support myself.” So they think that that whole feeling your feelings thing is not for them.

But what feeling your feelings shows you is the next step. Not two miles down the road. Just the next step. We don’t know where the feelings will take us. Maybe as you shift, your relationship with your partner will shift and you will be happy together. Maybe as you shift, you will be inspired with a new project that brings in a lot of money. Maybe as you shift, you will invite more space for new ideas of how life can work. We don’t know until we take the next step.

The next step is small. When I taught kindergarten and the littles were getting ready to become first graders, they would sometimes confide in me, “I’m so scared of first grade. I don’t know how to do the homework in first grade.” I assured them that since they knew how to do the homework in kindergarten, the homework in first grade was going to be just right for them.

The next step is small. You are going to know how to do the homework in first grade. You are going to be handle the next step that your feelings will ask of you. I know it.

Feeling feelings is one thing we will look at in the seven day Empowered Sensitivity Intensive. Some of the other topics we will dive into are: Deconstructing Right and Wrong; Every, Every, Everything Happens For A Reason; Trusting Yourself/Trusting Your Life. Sound fun? Sign Up Here: http://portlandsynergy.com/events

“I’m Not Sensitive. I’m Numb.”

Posted by on Dec 10, 2014 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Yep. Shutting down is what most sensitive people do. Because the world is painful. We see (or used to see) things that not everyone sees. We feel (or used to feel) things that not everyone feels. We know (or used to know) things that not everyone knows. We acknowledge things that most people want to avoid. Or ~ oh my dear, maybe we ourselves are not acknowledging those things any more. Because, what’s the point? We have been told over and over that our perceptions are not real. At some point, we had no other choice than to believe the outside voices. And shut down.

I know with every fiber of my being that you exhausted every single possibility to stay awake, to stay excited, to stay vibrantly alive. You may have been very very small when you gave up. Maybe you cannot even remember a time when you were connected to your own vibrancy. I assure you, there was a time when you were awake. But the world could not fully see you. Your family could not fully understand the depth of you. You exhausted every single possibility to stay awake. I know you did. With no other options to explore, we shut down.

Shutting down could look like complete numbness, and being acutely aware of our numbness. Or it could look like super busyness, with our lives filled with things that do not really touch our heart. Maybe we don’t want to get out of bed because life seems so meaningless. Or we jump out of bed because our to do list is a mile long.

Numb does not mean you can’t feel. Numb means you are feeling so much that your system can’t even handle it. Numb signals that your heart, your soul, your journey is calling to you.

It takes courage to imagine that you could have a connection with your heart. A connection with your soul. A connection with your journey. A connected journey? With you your feet excitedly making contact with the ground underneath as you take steps toward the things that make your heart sing out loud. Hard to imagine from where you stand now? Maybe it sounds corny? Maybe it sounds so unreachable that it invites more despair into your system?

When I first stepped foot into a Unity church many many years ago, I cried through the entire service. Sobbed. And sobbed. Why? Because I felt (maybe for the first time in my life) such an unbelievably expansive openness. Because I felt acceptance; I felt love. Because I didn’t think I could dare imagine a world in which the love could actually reach me. And in that moment, the numb facade started to crumble.

And I began the deep dive in. Oh, it’s not that I hadn’t been seeking or searching or being analyzed in therapy for many years prior to that. But in that Unity church on that day, a seed was planted.

That I was a healer. I didn’t know it and wouldn’t know it for many many years. But the depression that had plagued me for EVER would unfold into a gateway for me to become a healer. And sitting in a sea of acceptance that day, I got a little tiny glimpse (even though I didn’t consciously notice it) of what it might feel like to really be accepted. To really accept myself. Accept my different way of walking in the world. Accept my slooooowwwww pace. Accept that my relationship with time will always be a painful and confusing one for me. Accept that I had some amazing gifts to share in this world. Accept that I would indeed find my way in the world. Even though many of the outside voices told me I was crazy; that I would fail; that I should play it safe ~ the seed of self acceptance was planted that day. And I decided to not go back to sleep.

Rumi says ‘The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep! You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep!’

Do you want to keep playing it safe? (And how safe is miserable, anyway??) Or do you want to begin the journey of listening to the breeze at dawn? 2015 is your year; I can feel it. Please consider joining me for seven days (spread out over three weeks) of ‘listening to the breeze at dawn’. Three weeks of thawing the numbness… Empowered Sensitivity is coming! Are you worth the commitment to an hour a day of reflection, creativity, insight? You will receive a daily video prompt inviting you to begin listening to the power of your sensitivity with assignments that are bound to thaw the numbness. You are ready. Imagine you have enough courage and jump in! Do not go back to sleep. Register for Empowered Sensitivity here http://portlandsynergy.com/empowered-sensitivity/

SPRING into Empowered Sensitivity

Posted by on Nov 25, 2014 in Uncategorized | 4 comments

Spring

Join Patricia for an online intensive – Empowered Sensitivity, March 15th – April 4th. Receive morning emails spread out over three weeks with Patricia’s video prompt of assignments, along with suggestions of other powerful ways to start feeling yourself. It’s a great commitment to yourself this SPRING! A total of seven emails with videos and creative prompts will be sent out March 15th, 18th, 21st, 24th, 27th, 30th, and April 2nd with a wrap up on April 4th.  This pace allows for a bit of breathing room between assignments compared with the previously offered seven day intensive. The course is designed to be an individual reflective process and although there will be an opportunity to share with others in a private Facebook group, many participants choose to make this class an inner journey. Video assignments are viewed in the privacy of one’s own home on the viewer’s own schedule and there is no need to share assignments or insights with anyone else. I, however, do love to hear about the insights and see the assignments; participants are welcome to share as much as they would like with me.

Sign up now for the online Intensive at $97.00 ~ OR for an additional $12.00, receive a 30 minute Skype or Facetime Synergy session with Patricia. Your chance to get a taste of how Synergy can help you come home to yourself. Choose the life you want now and begin to trust YOURSELF this year; the world needs your sensitivity. And your time for authentic empowerment is long overdue.


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