How Can I Begin Befriending My Body?

Posted by on Nov 3, 2013 in Forgiveness, Love, Responsibility | 2 comments

How Can I Begin Befriending My Body?

How Can I Begin Befriending My Body?

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”      Oprah Winfrey

A few weeks ago, I attended my 30th High School Reunion. Argh. In high school, I was the ‘girl with the brace’, as I was in the midst of a five year treatment plan for a sever-ish case of scoliosis. Talk about hating your body! Let’s just say, it wasn’t all Deenie, if you ever happened to read that Judy Blume book about a teen with scoliosis. Deenie accepted her scoliosis with exceptional teenage grace. Me, I just went into a dark lonely shell from which it took me a long, long time to emerge. That time in my life was little bit more like, “Are you there, God? It’s me, Patricia.” (God said no.) As much as I hated my body, I am forever grateful for the path of healing it inspired. Or I should really say required. I think we can all agree that befriending our bodies sounds like a good idea, but how do we go from hate to love?

1. Believe in the Wisdom of Your Bodymind

What if everything that was going on with your body was a cryptic, yet amazingly insightful communication from your soul? Here is one example of how this might work:  I have a friend who suffered from Graves disease for many years, and was not able to get any relief with traditional treatment. She had a persistent intuition that she was to learn something from her diagnosis, and spent many hours in deep meditation asking the questions “Why? Why? What is this for?” One day, she was shocked to her core as her meditation led her to a clear inner vignette of walking up to a baby’s grave. She immediately recognized this as the grave of her unborn child from an abortion more than twenty years prior. She had not even been aware that she was carrying grief, guilt, sadness, and regret from this event, but with a new hunger for wholeness, she embarked on healing these old wounds. She befriended her body, befriended her wounds, and befriended her struggle. And she began healing; her Graves disease went into remission.

Does this mean that our afflictions will always neatly dissolve as we hear their messages? Of course not. Our lessons may be long and arduous. We may not be able to decipher the messages. Does this mean you are to ‘blame’ for your illness? NO, this whole game is way outside of any system of blame. (Do I believe that your soul ‘signs up’ on some level for the lessons at hand? Yes, I do, but that’ll have to be for another blog post.)

2. Trust the Universe

Why is it that so many people have faith in God, except when it comes to illness? Could it really be that ‘Bad Luck’ is controlling your destiny? I don’t believe in bad luck. I do believe that the body is always communicating and that if you are not well, then it is very likely that something in your life is not working. You may be doing something, thinking something, or eating something that is not working for you. Or perhaps your body is ready to heal something from the past. Or perhaps, you are here on planet earth with an entirely different purpose; maybe your illness brings people together in an amazing way (thinking of the unbelievable tragedy of children who are sick.) As difficult as it is to believe, I’m inviting you to consider the possibility that there is a purpose to the things that happen here on planet Earth, including (gasp!) the things that happen with the body.

3. Why Not Try Love?

True healing is not about fixing what is broken with us (we could never ever be done), but is about befriending what is true, right here, right now. Many of my clients believe that they have to be harsh with themselves in order to heal. For example, I have to hate my bad behaviors so that I can remember how much I don’t want them in my life, and they can go away. However, we can all easily concede that this kind of hate does not change anything and the bad behaviors do not ‘go away’. So why not try love? Try loving your big hips and see how they respond. Try loving the back pain, knowing that it has a cryptic message for you. Befriending what is true allows the space for what is true to shift. Loving what is true will absolutely change the truth. Sounds crazy, but try it! Experiment with completing the phrase: “I love my _______; therefore I _______” This is kind of like “fake it ‘till you make it”, but if you are willing to try this experiment for a month, I assure you, you will not be disappointed. Get creative here:  I love my body; therefore I give it healthy food. I love my big round hips; therefore, I massage them with coconut oil. I love my strong legs; therefore I treat them to a walk in the woods. I love my eyes, therefore I drink fresh carrot juice every day. Just try love. And see what happens.

Believing in the idea of being friends with your body does mean that your body is always communicating with you and if you are determined to listen, you will begin to find the answers. Believe that your body is on your side. It’s true.


  1. I absolutely love this, Patricia. Especially “(God said no.)” You always crack me up, and this is a beautiful and nicely non-wifty way of describing how our work, works.

    • Thank you for reading Kamela! I somehow never got notified about your comment. Would love to touch base and talk Rubenfeld. Miss you dearly dearheart…

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